Internet Dating & The Psychiatrists Couch.

Just shoot me Doc!
Just shoot me Doc!

Having found myself single again after two long term relationships, I was somewhat intrigued with the idea of computer matching in the dating process.

Having examined the failures of my past relationships I thought the idea of compatibility matching for common values and interests was a great idea. the thought that technology could narrow down the potential matches and offer guidance where my own judgement had failed seemed perfectly logical and prudent.

I don’t work in a traditional office setting. And Bars long ago lost my interest. So knowing my potential opportunities to meet a special someone were limited at best. I had this in the back of my mind awaiting the time I believed Iwere ready to date again.

After a relatively long period of recovery and self discovery  I decided to try the above approach. in my quest for a companion/potential soul mate. I joined  ” The big dating site”,   the brand splashed on television and run by a famed relationship doctor.

I took the rather extensive profile exam and compatibility tests based on “269 areas of something.” and I awaited my Matches with great anticipation & excitement.

My excitement soon turned to horror as I began to interact with the ” dating pool.” I quickly began to question the validity of the compatibility profiles and the credentials of the esteemed Dr. Whatever.

It became clear that like any computer program software, the old adage “garbage in & garbage out,” definitely applied to the dating software!

It never dawned on me that others in search of  love and companionship might actually lie in their responses to the questions? I can only speak from the male perspective,but some of the things i have encountered have me rethinking the whole process! Among some of the most common Faux Paus and white Lie’s are these jewels. I offer these comments as constructive criticism and fair warning to anyone “wading in this pool.”

1. Many women take their favorite photo of themselves and post it to their profiles. ( Not OK If the picture is 15 years old ! times change. not  all men are shallow, however did you think we wouldn’t notice?)  Do men do this?

2. Describe your personality. ” easy going”, “laid back” ,”supportive” . These seem to be the most common phrases used.  ( based on my experience with my matches, the real meaning is as translated. “I am real easy going as I lay back and wait for the next guy to support me”.) I know there are women who shatter this stereotype, and I am looking for you! Equality and partnership is a two way street.

3. What best describes you as a person?  amazingly here in the heartland of America, I have run across multiple women who describe themselves as ” I am a Beach Person.” ??????? In Missouri? enough said.

4.What are you passionate about?  The most common answer is . ” life.”( that covers a great deal of ground but wont help another understand  you.)

Hard to get to know the person when your being sold the “Myth” ? why do people feel it necessary to fabricate who and what they are when they seek their match? I just don’t get it. and this I would imagine is not gender specific.

Then there are the acronyms you better learn and quickly ! you don’t want to wade in the “pool,” without knowing these and the true definitions. almost like a secret code at first glance for the person reentering the dating world!

1. ” B.B.W.”  Big beautiful Woman! ( is it necessary to place this in a profile? It wouldn’t be if you posted a “RECENT” photo! pretty certain most men can figure it out.)

2.L.T.R.  Long term relationship. (seems simple and straightforward. but you need to know it so your not confused by the next one).

3. Friends with Benefits. no commitment required with sexual benefits. ( not a bad deal until you consider the following ramifications)

4.S.T.D.  Sexually transmitted disease. (now they kill you or permanently disfigure)

I believe the new era of dating and relationships is frightening. Internet  dating has taken the actual human element out of it now. If after navigating the above you actually ever do have a face to face meeting. I have found most are devoid of the social skills to interact.

Is it so hard to find a normal person to date, share life and laughter with?

The whole Internet dating thing has left me contemplating a date with the psychiatrist. now I have nightmares that I am in a friends with benefits relationship with a BBW who gave me an STD .And that has limited me to a LTR with Her. HELP !

I just know I am giving up looking for Love and companionship on the Internet. Maybe I will revert to grade school and pull the hair of the lady I find attractive? perhaps the animal kingdom has it right. they simply sniff for their mate. Maybe I will find the woman that interests me, then have a friend tell her ” he likes you.” Whatever happened to passing the girl a note? Yes Dr.  Frankenstien, I think your computer program has it all wrong!

Food for thought.



~ by onthedarkside on March 31, 2009.

4 Responses to “Internet Dating & The Psychiatrists Couch.”

  1. “Hey, you get your first five searches for free!”, said Mitchell.

  2. when it comes to love and war, NOTHING is FREE ! and all indeed seems to be fair.

  3. Hilarious, but seems true to some point. Now, what was this internet supposed to be about and for anyways? That’s my question! It’s like….oh, we can do this too!! 🙂 Scary when you have teenagers exploring the stuff.

  4. Hey, Reading some of your stuff and this caught my eye. I to entered the internet dating pool and I think it’s a waist of $$$’s. Had some “contact” but what do you do with those things? I’ve for passing the girl a note then meeting her at the bike rack after school and walking her home. Holding her books of course. How can someone find a soul mate on a soul-less web site? Behind it all is math. I never met a boyfriend in math class.

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