SwashBuckling makes a Comeback !

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum !

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum !

Come all you jolly sailors
You all so stout and brave;
Come hearken and I’ll tell you
What happen’d on the wave.
Oh! ’tis of that bloody Blackbeard
I’m going now for to tell;
And as how by gallant Maynard
He soon was sent to hell.
-Benjamin Franklin (attributed)

As I dragged my rubber raft to the shoreline of the pond , I realized I still have a great deal of training left to do. But as I called it a day.  I was exhilarated with the thoughts that a childhood fantasy now seems within reach.  Now all that remains is to secure a ship and recruit a crew.

With the economy in shambles and the promise of treasure, women and Grog, it shouldnt be hard ? I lowered my Jolly Roger flag, waved to my neighbors and  the mailman. and rushed to  watch the scene unfolding on Fox news. As the NATO  ships freed the hostages and ironically were forced to free the Somali Pirates as they had no jurisdiction to hold them for trial, It became crystal clear to me. I could live the dream!

If a handful of Somali fisherman turned pirates could hold the  Navies of France, Belgium,and the Dutch at bay, why couldn’t I?

Since I was a child, books like Hemingway’s  Old man & the Sea , Daniel Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe, and in later years Jules Verne’s Lighthouse at the end of the World fascinated me .and they lured this boy from Missouri to the sea and it’s treasures. Heck I have been a Jimmy Buffett fan for 35 years!  Surely these credentials stack up favorably with Somali fisherman?

I am just surprised it took so long for the return of the swashbuckling Pirate? We should have seen the signs, they have been evident for quite some time now. If it looks like a Pirate and it smells like a Pirate, well by god it just might be a Pirate! somehow,we overlooked this as the following occurred.

The Opec  Nations  Boarded our ship years ago . we recently paid $3.00 for a gallon of gasoline. Thats Piracy!

Wall street has been ransacked by Pirates!  Harvard &  Wharton Grads with 3 piece suits instead of puffy shirts and beards! using actuaries and accountants to fleece the hidden booty of most Americans retirement plans and hidden treasure.

Put a sword in their hands and I defy anyone to explain how world leaders like Kim Jong Il,  or Hugo Chavez differ from Blackbeard ?

yes I should have seen it coming. even Disney has gotten in on the fun with the recent Pirates of the Carribean series ! have you been to a theatre lately? That’s Piracy!

Jimmy Buffett in the Lyrics to a Pirate looks at 40. Said it well …

“Yes I am a Pirate,two hundred years to late.

the cannons don’t thunder, there’s nothing to plunder, I’m an over 40 victim of fate.

Arriving too late. Arriving too late. But Ive done a bit of smuggling, I’ve run my share of grass. Made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast.

Never meant to last. Never meant to last”.  

sounds like the inflation of the housing market?  Or our pharmaceutical industries?

The housing and mortgage mess. That’s Piracy!

on every corner in America, legal Pirates have set up shop as payday loan brokers. 300% interest.  That’s Piracy!

American business sets up off shore corporations to avoid Taxes. Thats  Piracy!

Heck even Blackbeard was Headquarterd in North Carolina!

Summed up well by the Lyrics from another Jimmy Buffett song,  Changes in Attitudes, Changes in Latitudes.

“Good times and Riches, and Son of a bitches, Ive seen more than i can recall”.

Seems like these days I see Pirates everywhere I look. perhaps without eyepatches and a Parrot on their shoulders, but Pirates none the less.

So what do we do with these Pirates now among us?

A friend of mine from South Africa recently wrote ” I cant change the direction of the wind. But I can adjust my sails in order to reach my destination”.

maybe we need to all go to www.thepiratesrealm.com and order our own Jolly Roger flags, eyepatches and Pirates code of ethics?

we can wear puffy shirts, have sword fights, swing from yard arms, and  have rum drinks while sitting in the Carribean waiting for an OPEC oil tanker or a tanker of Venezuelan crude?


Oh well. a guy can dream.



~ by onthedarkside on April 19, 2009.

6 Responses to “SwashBuckling makes a Comeback !”

  1. There is really an almost respect for pirates in this age, I will call them theives and hijackers, as they are.

  2. yes. that was my point. but there are ” hidden Pirates” we face everyday as well.

  3. Arrr. Great piece Kev. Send this one to Jamie! Keep knockin’ on the door.

  4. Hi there,
    onthedarkside.wordpress.com to GoogleReader!

  5. Great stuff Kevin!

  6. As per the norm this is a “right-on” piece. Very cleverly managed to make me think and smile. Let me know when you’re coming out in the puffy shirt, sword and eye patch!

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