Time to Open a Can of Wup Ass?

Can Of Wup assMy thoughts drifted to a simpler fun time in my life . One when political correctness and ultra-sensitive  people were not so prevalent in day to day life. When humor and slang served a meaningful purpose in making ones point to a worthy recipient.

I first heard the term shortly after moving to the Tidewater area of Virginia. Norfolk/Virginia Beach sits in the far southeast corner of the state,and borders North Carolina. while only a few hundred miles from our Nations Capitol, it is a million miles away from political correctness. Somewhere on the border there dwells a Species we shall call ” Bubba”. This ” Bubba” has not only a unique lifestyle,but a language and vocabulary unique to the region and his chosen habitat. I am certain I learned the definition of a “Can of Wup Ass” from one of these ‘Bubba’s”.

In simple terms the phrase is a veiled threat to restore order via implied physical means. used properly it has multiple meanings and can be effectively deployed to control young and old alike. 

 Some examples may be…. ” Son if you don’t behave, Daddy is gonna open a can of Wup ass on you”.  I have seen this stop mayhem in a grocery store on a dime!

For more Adult situations the phrase is used as both a deterrent and a calm before the storm…. ” I’m about to open a can of Wup Ass on you”. I have seen it stop drunken sailors on leave from the Naval Base in Norfolk.

I utilized it in a  “Kinder,Gentler “version to control my daughter for many years. I simply substituted ” Worm’s”  for  “Wup Ass”……worked every time ! I went so far as to take a can of Pork and Beans and make my own label which was affixed  to the can.. ” Can -O-Worms” complete with visual aid in the best creepy crawly worm I could draw. When Abby got out of line or misbehaved we simply  removed the can from the pantry and placed it in front of her.I remain convinced it would still work to this day had my Sister not used the ” Can -O-Worms “for a side dish when we moved back to Missouri. I had forgotten the phrase until recently.

I have decided that the phrase fits perfectly in so many situations, that I plan to accumulate names and  will make it a regular monthly feature on my blog. My own way of restoring order to the crazy world in which we live .  And if a few laughs are manufactured along the way even better!

Will it change the world? Highly unlikely, But it sure will be fun to award the ” Can of Wup Ass” every month to those politicians, celebrities, and Morons who may be deserving. Please feel free to nominate your picks each month.

For the month of May I would like to nominate the following who would no doubt benifit . So to the following politicians, entertainers & Morons. This “Can of Wup Ass” is for you!

1. The ” Honorable”  Nancy Pelosi…….. JUST BECAUSE.

2. Rush Limbaugh & MSNBC News……. Since when are fueds news?

3. OctoMom and Her Doctor……………….Are you kidding me?

and there you have it folks. Many are called few are chosen.


~ by onthedarkside on May 22, 2009.

2 Responses to “Time to Open a Can of Wup Ass?”

  1. Kev, There are some many qualified candidates for this award perhaps you should establish an annual or lifetime award. Pelosi for an example would win this every month overshadowing many deserving idiots, such as Barney, the banking queen, Frank, Tim, woops I forgot to pay my taxes, Giethner, Chris, what’ll you charge me for a loan, Dodd, Harry Reid, and that crook president of the UAW.

  2. Wayne fear not there is Plenty of ” WUP ASS” to go around. lol.

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