An Alien Invasion & Zombie Apocolypse is Upon Us !

Well, I see the headline drew you in? Please allow me to explain. Okay I have no actual proof, more like a theory. I realize this may have disappointed you, I’m sorry. But please consider what I tell you here as it may save our world. Remember the mass hysteria surrounding UFO sightings in the 70’s and 80’s? Think back a few years, to the newer fad of Zombies, and their appearance on the scene in the 90’s and to the current popularity of shows such as AMC’s The Walking Dead.
Now I realize claiming alien invasion and zombie apocalypse’s are bold statements. Unlike Fox news, I will attempt to prove my theory. Well…. At least prove it beyond the threshold of another theory that many people believe as the gospel, say…trickle-down economics if you will?
And now that you are committed and have invested the time to read this far, I tell you our country has been invaded by Aliens, and a Zombie apocalypse is indeed occurring before our very eyes. I preface this by invoking a new Fifth Amendment type right, now acceptable when telling tall tales or non-truths,
Of course,” this is not intended as a factual statement.” Senator Jon Kyl R-Az. Brilliant!
Sure I know another bold statement. But this is far more subtle than the movies or television makes it out to be. Yet in every corner of our society it is taking place slowly but surely. I don’t blame you for being skeptical, it is the same feeling I have now each time a Republican politician opens their mouth. Now please understand, I’m not picking on the Republicans. They were just the chosen species the Aliens targeted for their diabolical mission. Likely due to the pea shaped size of a brain that believes their insane ramblings (like tax cuts and cutting government spending stimulates job growth) the poor sad Republicans. I damn near feel sorry for them. But now I’m hurling insults with no proof. (Almost like everything they say when Barak Obama speaks) and we all know that is just not fair.
Let me share what I believe is the proof. Then you as an intelligent human being decide for yourself whether my theory makes more sense than trickle -down economics. I offer the following for your consideration.
Let me take you back to a better time in our country’s recent past. Imagine if you will George H.W. Bush former director of the Central Intelligence Agency, had just concluded his presidency. Coincidentally the Heavens Gate scandal and mass suicides were occurring. Their leader, the infamous Marshall Applewhite had warned us all that the Mother ship was indeed coming. And indeed it did. History tells us, the cult believed they were to be picked up by the Mother ship.(Now here is where my theory begins) Unspoken, and unbeknownst at the time, were the fact that the ship dropped an Alien being in the very likeness of the former CIA Director/Retiring President George H.W. Bush’s idiot son George W Bush. At that time embroiled in several failed business ventures and experimenting with both drugs & alcohol, and as the Governor of Texas. (The jury is still out as to which suffered more during that time period, his brain, or Texas?) I contend a switch was made. This was a clever and cunning move, by the former CIA director. This secret was classified at the highest levels of the administration whose commander in chief were coincidentally George H.W. Bush himself! I maintain he rid himself of his real idiot son with an Alien Clone. Several other high level Republicans were also replaced at the same time.
All of this was shrouded in secrecy, meanwhile the country were embroiled in the Scandalous affairs of the current President and his “Willie”, None other than the honorable William Jefferson Clinton. (This also marked the beginning of a Republican /Alien program of disinformation) Not only was the presiding Democratic President was defending his “Willie”, rumors and investigations regarding “Whitewater” and the mysterious death of a Clinton cabinet member Vince Foster. Yes the Country and the President were so busy building a period of both unprecedented job growth, and a budget surplus. The scandals turned our attention away from our prosperity, and allowed the indoctrination of Aliens in useful places to the Republican /Alien party. (Such as the then speaker of the house Newt Gingrich) The evil plot began to thicken. As it turns out, the mother ship took away the Heaven’s Gate cult, and planted zombie seeds in the American population’s brains. Only the weakest of minds were targeted to assure compliance with the orders of the soon to be new regime. They utilized the list of registered Republican voters.
Hypocrisy was introduced as policy by the leaders and carried out (as history proved) by the “Newtered one” or Ibot one in Alien speak. Coincidentally Fox News channel were launched as a propaganda tool and method of communication/transformation by the evil plot leaders (remember the former director of the CIA) it took time to develop and the zombification of the masses were also a slow process. The Zombie seed were fertilized in the brains, by a steady exposure to the evil empires propaganda machine Fox News. Slowly the plan took shape.
As Roger Ailes the Chairman of Fox was later quoted as admitting “Truth is whatever the public believes.” And so the plot was unleashed. Once you control the strongest country in the world, well you rule the world.
At the end of the second term of Clinton and having convinced 51% of the population that prosperity must take a back seat to Clintons “Willie”. The Alien leaders & their Zombie following managed to get the now pickled and still evolving zombie GW Bush on the ballot.
And my god he won! Well kind of… there was the little matter of Al Gore actually having won by the popular vote, but explaining the Zombie apocalypse is far easier than explaining the Electoral College. I won’t even touch upon the whole” Hanging Chad “issue or that little mess in Florida. It would be pointless, as the invasion is well underway.
At any rate… The Aliens left behind a heartless bastard to oversee the Zombification in the person of one Dick Cheney, A diabolical, conniving, and clever ruler from the planet of Prickton. He was installed as a behind the scenes ruler and puppet master to pull the strings of GWB.
And so the conspiracy began…. Endless wars over oil, deregulation of the financial markets, and other assorted diabolical plots were unleashed to distract the populace from the slow process of Zombification. They integrated the Republican Party with Zombies and bots awaiting the day they could bring the country to its knees.
Think back if you will to the many error filled moments of the GWB days, the blank stares, the incoherent speeches. Yes it seems clear now, but then they were written off as the anomalies of the human condition. They were in fact the flaws in the Zombification process. Changes would come slowly, but surely.
Then the plots were interrupted, as after two terms, the Republican bots & Zombies had to face a general election. It was an unpleasant experience. The full stupidification of the populace was incomplete, as were the full integration of the zombies in the Republican Party. None the less, they put forward John McCain, a well known former war hero and the chosen bot of the party. Along side Mc Cain, the first public display of a true Republican zombie was unveiled in the person of one Sarah Palin.
Mrs. Palin had been hidden in the wilderness of Alaska, biding time and failing as a first term Governor there.
Slowly the aliens unveiled more political zombies. For proof, I submit to you for consideration…..Sharon Angle, Michele Bachmann, Christine O’Donnell, Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, John Boehner, and Steve King. Let us not forget Herman Cain & Allen West! The list grows daily. They run amok throughout the country all mumbling the same incoherent party line. “Tax Cuts for the job creators” I believe it is a code name for the alien masters. They decry healthcare at every turn, even cheering death at political rallies. They fight contraception for women, hoping to spawn more zombies. Access to safe abortions the target of their legislative efforts. You must be a zombie if you believe this spurs economic growth, or as their leaders proclaim.. “We are focused on jobs.” Their steely eyes focus on ending aid to dependent families, cutting even children’s school lunch programs. A hungry zombie is a better zombie I suppose?
Fox news continues to broadcast its signal all over the country, the rallying cry or call to action for Zombies everywhere.
In the last several weeks, news of a zombie attack in Miami surfaced, a man eats a homeless mans face. Also a WWE fighter rips the heart out of a sparring partner. In New York City, a man rips out his own intestines and tosses them at Police. Is this coincidence? I think not!
Now mind you, this is just one mans theory. However I think as promised I have offered more proof than anyone has shown me on Trickle down economics.
Well thanks for listening, I have to run now, I see Mitt Romney is about to deliver another fascinating plan to right the country via Fox News. The Zombified voices of Steve Doucey & the Fox & Friends team call to me.
Mitt Romney…….Really?

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~ by onthedarkside on June 1, 2012.

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